How Much Money to Put in a Card: Wedding, Graduation and More

Deciding how much to give for a wedding, a graduation or a new baby is one of the most common questions people have before they put money in a card. There is no fixed rule. The right amount is the one you can comfortably afford, and the message you write in the card matters as much as the check.

This guide gives common ranges by occasion as general etiquette, explains what can move the number up or down, covers how to put cash or a check in a card safely, and ends with example messages to write with a gift of money.

Article contents

• How to Decide How Much Money to Put in a Card
• How Much Money to Give in a Card: Quick Guide
• How Much to Give for a Wedding
• How Much to Give for a Graduation
• Baby Shower and New Baby
• Birthdays
• Christmas and Holiday Cash Gifts
• Sympathy and Funeral Gifts
• How to Put Money in a Card
• What to Write With a Gift of Money
• Frequently Asked Questions

How to Decide How Much Money to Put in a Card

Start with your budget, then adjust for the details below.

1. Set a budget you are comfortable with. Nobody should strain their finances for a gift. A smaller amount with a thoughtful note is always appropriate.
2. Think about how close you are. People usually give more to close family and good friends than to coworkers, neighbors or acquaintances.
3. Count your other costs. If you are traveling, paying for a hotel or buying new clothes for the event, it is fine to give a little less.
4. Follow your family and regional customs. Expectations differ by family, community and region. If you are unsure, ask a relative or a friend who knows the group.
5. Decide if you are giving alone or with others. A couple usually gives one gift from both people, often a bit more than one person would give. A group gift lets several people combine smaller amounts into one larger gift.

Example: "Congratulations, Maya! We are so proud of you and cannot wait to see what comes next. Please use this toward something for your first apartment. Love, Aunt Carol and Uncle Jim"

How Much Money to Give in a Card: Quick Guide

These common ranges are general etiquette guidance for the United States. Give what fits your budget and your relationship.

• Wedding: about $50 to $100 for a coworker or acquaintance, $100 to $150 for a friend, and $150 to $250 or more for a close friend or relative.
• High school graduation: about $25 to $100.
• College graduation: about $50 to $200.
• Baby shower or new baby: about $25 to $100.
• Child's birthday: about $10 to $50.
• Teen's birthday: about $25 to $100.
• Christmas or holiday cash for children and grandchildren: about $20 to $100 per child, depending on age and family custom.
• Sympathy: money is usually not expected, though a donation in the person's memory is common.

How Much to Give for a Wedding

When people ask how much money to give for a wedding gift, the answer depends mostly on how close they are to the couple. An older rule says your gift should cover the cost of your meal at the reception. Many etiquette writers no longer recommend it, because guests rarely know what the couple paid and the gift should reflect your relationship and your budget.

• Coworker, neighbor or acquaintance: $50 to $100 is common.
• Friend: $100 to $150 is common.
• Close friend or relative: $150 to $250 is common, and parents, grandparents and siblings sometimes give more.

Destination weddings. Travel, lodging and time off already cost guests a good deal. Many couples consider your presence the gift, and a smaller check or a modest present is perfectly acceptable.

Bringing a plus-one. If you bring a date, many people increase the amount a little since two guests are attending.

If you cannot attend. It is still kind to send a gift if you are close to the couple, though it can be smaller than if you went. Mail a card with a check to the couple's home before or shortly after the wedding.

A check is easier for the couple to keep track of than cash. Make it out using the names they currently use, since a check written to a new married name can be hard to deposit right after the wedding.

How Much to Give for a Graduation

How much to give for graduation depends on the level of school and how close you are to the graduate. Many people give more for a college graduation than for high school, since the graduate is often starting a job or moving.

• High school, from a family friend, neighbor or distant relative: $25 to $50 is common.
• High school, from a close relative or godparent: $50 to $100 is common, and grandparents sometimes give more.
• College, from a family friend or a parent's coworker: $50 to $100 is common.
• College, from a close relative: $100 to $200 is common.
• Graduate or professional school: amounts are similar to college.

Kindergarten and eighth grade graduations usually call for a card and a small gift, often $10 to $25.

Baby Shower and New Baby

At a baby shower, many guests buy something from the registry. If you give money instead, $25 to $100 is common, with close family and friends at the higher end. For a new baby when there was no shower, a card with a check or a gift card to a store the parents use is always welcome.

If you give to the baby's savings or college fund, say so in the card so the parents know what the gift is for.

Birthdays

• Young children: $10 to $25 is common from friends and classmates' families, and $20 to $50 from relatives.
• Teens: $25 to $50 is common from relatives, and close family may give up to $100.
• Milestone birthdays: for an 18th or 21st birthday, close family sometimes give more, often $50 to $100 or more.
• A dollar for every year: some families give one dollar for each year of the child's age, which is easy to remember and grows as they do.

Christmas and Holiday Cash Gifts

Cash and checks are popular holiday gifts for older kids and teens, who often have a hard time making a wish list.

• Children and grandchildren: $20 to $100 per child is common, depending on age and what the family usually does. Many grandparents give each grandchild the same amount to keep things fair.
• Nieces, nephews and godchildren: $20 to $50 is common.
• Babysitter or nanny: often about one evening's pay for an occasional sitter, and up to a week's pay for a regular nanny.
• Mail carrier: USPS rules allow carriers to accept a gift worth $20 or less per occasion. They may not accept cash or cash equivalents, such as checks or gift cards that can be used like cash. A store or coffee shop gift card of $20 or less, a small treat or a thank you card are good choices.

Sympathy and Funeral Gifts

In most American families, money is not expected in a sympathy card. A heartfelt note, a meal for the family or a donation to a charity the family has named is more common. If the obituary asks for donations in lieu of flowers, give to that charity and mention the donation in your card.

Money can be appropriate in some situations. If the family is facing unexpected funeral costs, or a fund has been set up for a spouse or children, a check is a real help. In some families and cultures, giving cash to the family at the wake or funeral is a long tradition. Follow the family's custom if you know it, and keep the note simple.

Example: "We are so sorry for your loss. Please accept this to help with whatever your family needs right now. We are thinking of you."

How to Put Money in a Card

• Choose a check or cash. A check is safer to mail and gives you a record. Cash is fine for hand delivery and for kids and teens who may not have a bank account.
• Keep the amount off the outside. Never write the amount or "money enclosed" on the envelope. Write only the recipient's name and address.
• Tuck it inside the card. Fold the card around the check or bills so nothing slides out when the envelope is opened.
• Seal the envelope and sign your full name. At weddings and parties, cards can pile up on a table, so seal yours and sign clearly inside so the recipient knows who it came from.
• Hand deliver when you can. If you mail a money gift, send a check and avoid mailing large amounts of cash.
• Consider a gift card. A gift card to a store or restaurant the person likes is a good alternative to cash. Keep the receipt in case the card is lost.

What to Write With a Gift of Money

A few warm lines make a money gift feel personal. You can mention what the money might be used for, but keep it light so the person does not feel they have to spend it a certain way.

Wedding

• Congratulations on your wedding. Please accept this gift with our love and best wishes for your life together.
• Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. We hope this helps as you set up your new home.
• Congratulations, Sam and Lauren! Please use this toward your honeymoon or something fun for the two of you.
• We are so happy for you both. Here is a little something to help you settle into married life.
• With love and congratulations on your wedding day. Enjoy every minute of being newlyweds.
• We are sorry we cannot be there to celebrate with you. Please accept this with our love and congratulations.
• Congratulations on your marriage. We hope this helps a little with the house fund.
• To the happy couple: please treat yourselves to something special. With love, Aunt Linda and Uncle Joe

Graduation

• Congratulations, graduate! You worked hard for this, and we are so proud of you.
• Congratulations on your graduation. Please use this toward whatever comes next.
• Here is a little something for books, dorm supplies or late-night pizza. Congratulations!
• You did it! Enjoy this and treat yourself to something fun.
• Congratulations on earning your degree. We hope this helps you get settled in your new job and new apartment.
• We are so proud of everything you have accomplished. Congratulations, and best of luck this fall.
• Congratulations! Put this in savings or spend it on something you love. You earned it.
• Congratulations on your graduation day. Please put this toward your next big step.

Baby Shower and New Baby

• Congratulations on your new arrival. Please use this for whatever the baby needs.
• Welcome to the world, little one. Here is a little something to help Mom and Dad stock up on diapers.
• We hope this gives the baby's savings account a good start. Congratulations!
• Wishing your family lots of love and a little extra sleep. Please accept this with our congratulations.
• We are so happy for you both. Please treat yourselves to a dinner delivery on us one of these tired nights.
• Congratulations on your baby girl. Please put this toward anything she needs.
• For the baby's first savings account, with love from Grandma and Grandpa.
• Congratulations on your growing family. We cannot wait to meet the newest member.

Birthday

• Happy birthday! Buy yourself something you really want.
• Happy birthday, Jake. Here is a little spending money for your next trip to the mall.
• Happy 10th birthday! Spend it, save it or do a little of both.
• Happy birthday! We were not sure what to get you, so please pick something you love.
• Happy 18th birthday. Here is a little something to start your savings for college.
• Happy 50th birthday. Dinner is on us, so enjoy a night out.
• Happy birthday to our favorite granddaughter. We love you very much.
• Happy birthday! Here is a dollar for every year. Have a wonderful day.

Christmas and Holidays

• Merry Christmas! Buy yourself something you have had your eye on.
• Merry Christmas, with love from Grandma and Grandpa. Spend it on something fun.
• Merry Christmas! Here is a little something for your college fund, with lots of love.
• Wishing you a happy holiday season. Please enjoy a little treat on us.
• Happy Hanukkah! A little gelt for the season, with love.
• Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We are proud of you and love you very much.
• Thank you for taking such good care of our kids this year. Happy holidays from all of us.
• Thank you for bringing our mail through rain and snow. Please enjoy a coffee on us this winter.

Frequently Asked Questions

How much should you give for a wedding?

Common ranges are $50 to $100 for a coworker or acquaintance, $100 to $150 for a friend, and $150 to $250 or more for a close friend or relative. These are general guidelines only. Give what you can afford, and remember that the card and your good wishes matter too.

How much money should you give for a high school graduation?

Between $25 and $100 is common, with close relatives at the higher end. A note about the graduate's hard work means a lot at this age.

Is it rude to give cash instead of a gift?

No. Cash and checks are common and welcome for weddings, graduations and many birthdays. Add a personal note so the gift feels thoughtful.

What if I cannot afford much?

Give what you can, and put extra care into the message. A thoughtful card with a small gift is always appropriate.

For message ideas by occasion, see our guides to what to write in a wedding card, graduation card messages and baby shower card messages. To finish your card, read how to sign a card, and before you mail it, see how to address an envelope and mail a card.

Our assorted greeting cards are blank inside, so one box covers weddings, graduations, birthdays and more. Each set comes with envelopes and is printed on 100% recycled paper.